Confessions of a Disfunctional Cooking Student
by Peachie-Chan
Summary: What if? A simple question really...Kamiya Kaoru has been known to be a horrible cook, probably could kill an army of men with the sight of her food alone...but what if she tried to correct her problem? Disfunctional is the one word that sums it all up.


AN: I know…I should be busy updating **Worth Millions** but hey, this was a really cute idea that I got when typing up a new story…which will be up by late November/ early December. I got the idea from my old dream job that I wanted in fifth grade and thought! 'Hey! This can make a really good story!' After all…I don't think I've ever read a story about Kaoru trying to solve her problem of lacking cooking skills.

Sit back and enjoy!

_-10/22/05_

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**Confessions**

_Flashbacks/Dreams_

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

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Peachie-chan proudly presents

Confessions of a Disfunctional Cooking School Student

Chapter 1: Burning Water-Prologue

**Hi, my name is Kamiya Kaoru and I'm attending one of Tokyo's elite cooking schools to achieve my dream in owning my own restaurant.**

**I should tell you a bit more about myself. I'm 18 years old, just fresh out of high school with my dream job at the top of my priority list. Did I mention that my favorite color is blue?**

**I have stunning blue eyes…or so my best friend Misao tells me. I don't have the body of a model, but I'm what you'd call slim…once again using the words of the wise Misao. My skin is a nice peachie color and I have gorgeous black tresses that fall down to my mid back. That's all me, no comments from Misao for those two. Anyway, back to my hair, you just have to know that I always keep it up in a high ponytail with my infamous indigo ribbon….I have been thinking about getting a new one since my ex-boyfriend accidentally spilled coffee on it…now there's a huge stain on it.**

…**back to cooking school. I should explain why I want to learn how to cook better. I really would love to own a restaurant but that's not my main reason. My ex-boyfriend was a real jerk and told me my cooking sucked when I made cake for him. He actually had the nerve to tell me that to my face on Valentine's Day no less! It's safe to say that I dumped that guy right away. So in a sense, I'm going to cooking school to show the bastard that I CAN COOK!**

**But I do have one slight dilemma….I do suck at cooking. **

**Have you ever met someone who can burn water? It seems impossible, I know. Just felt that you should know that I have achieved the unachievable. That's right, I, Kamiya Kaoru burned water.**

**The story begins with me boiling water for some pasta I wanted to make and I suddenly heard my favorite song blasting from the VH1 and I couldn't help but stop what I was doing, hop over to the TV set and start to sing along to Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz.**

**Two minutes later, I came back and found the water in the pot had turned black and flaky…like tar. It smelled as if I burned something, but how in the HELL do you burn water!**

**That's a question I have been pondering for quite some time now…**

…**You know how water and oil don't mix? Well I somehow I managed to mix them quite easily.**

**One can easily see that I am NOT a good chef…and so very far away from being descent.**

**I heard that in cooking school, that they literally beat the skills into you. I've already started to picture myself getting beaten with spatulas and wooden spoons with people screaming "Learn! LEARN DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T THE BITCH LEARN ANYTHING!" I already feel the smacks in my dreams…but if that's what it takes for me to be great…then so be it!**

**So here I am, hanging out with my best friend Misao, at the mall having a nice quiet day. This is the beginning of my tale, my confessions of a disfunctional cooking school student. **

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Kamiya Kaoru drank her ice tea silently as she kept her sapphire eyes glued onto her friend, Mikamachi Misao, as she was told about her plans for the weekend. The two were seated at a small table in a mall's food court deep in the heart of Tokyo, surrounded by the ever constant chattering of other customers.

"Aoshi-sama is going to take me to the movies Friday night. It's going to be so romantic since we're going to see _The Fog_" Misao sighed as she poked her crepe with her plastic fork.

"How is a horror movie romantic Misao?" Kaoru inquired as she blinked in confusion, hoping that the petite girl with emerald green eyes and long black hair, braided into a single braid that fell to her waist would answer. "Also…didn't we see that movie last weekend?"

"Completely part of my ingenious plan! Since I've already seen the movie, I can easily fake a scream at the right moment, and then I'll cling onto Aoshi-sama's arm for dear life, thus making the movie more romantic!"

Kaoru's mouth made and "O" shape as she returned her attention back to her mango ice tea, her eyes darkened slightly as she thought about the past. Enishi had never been the romantic type…heck! A stump was more romantic than the man…he was more of a friend with benefits.

"When do you start school Kao-chan?" Misao asked right before stuffing a large amount of crepe into her mouth.

She and Misao had graduated high school a couple of months before and were taking life easy before they started at their new schools for fall semester. Misao was off to learn the trade of a fashion designer, while Kaoru was whisked away to 'Tokyo's Academy of Culinary Arts.'

"Next week sadly…and classes are all day, so I have to quit my job at the bookstore" Kaoru sighed sadly. Her job at the bookstore and at her father's dojo had just been enough to pay for one year's tuition.

Misao's smile soon diminished as she swallowed what was in her mouth. "But Kao-chan! This means that we're going to be separated! For the first time in our lives, we're not going to be together! How the hell will I know if those stuck up cooking school bastards will treat you with the respect that you deserve!" she said quickly as she grabbed Kaoru's hand. "HOW WILL I KNOW!"

"Don't worry Misao! This is me for crying out loud. If anyone messes with me, I'll just smash them over the head with the nearest most lethal object" Kaoru assured her friend, who was busy weighing out what she had told her.

"I don't know…I'll only agree to that if after your first day of class you call me and tell me all the details! If not, I'm not afraid to hunt you down and strangle the information out of you…but only if I have to" Misao warned as she grinned evilly. Kaoru merely shrugged, even though she knew perfectly well that Misao wasn't afraid to act out her threat if she had to.

Misao smiled and sighed, leaning back in her chair in an attempt to relax. "You'll also have to tell me about all the hot guys in your class. I read in a magazine that only rich hot guys go to cooking school!"

"You made that up! Haven't you watched a cooking channel recently? All the guys are old and fat!" Kaoru groaned at the thought of being in a room cram filled with old over-weight men.

"Not true mon amie! I did watch Food Network last night, for your own sake, and there was this guy named Jamie Oliver who had his own shown and boy did he look…good…almost as good as Aoshi-sama. Anyway…he had this very simple recipe for lasagna and it was delicious after I made some!" Misao pointed out.

Kaoru sunk deeper into her seat.

"Don't worry Kao-chan…you'll be cooking like a pro in no time at all!"

Deeper Kaoru sunk into the chair.

"Kao-chan, you're being stupid! Have some self-esteem!"

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**For what awaited me in cooking school, I already knew it wouldn't be pretty. After the discussion with Misao, I had a feeling I would want to commit hara-kiri with a butcher knife after only fourteen minutes. Not only that, but I was going to have my self esteem beated into a bloody pulp on my first day. If only I had known…I might've tried to save my neck.**

To be continued…

AN: Did you like? I hope you did Anyway if anyone is interested, I'm looking for a beta reader…someone who can read over the final copy of my chapters and correct me on any mistakes made…I never catch those darn mistakes

Thank you!

Till next time, Sayonara


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